Note Card Story

First Draft

Cesante dragged me to his room and sat me down on an uncomfortable chair. He began telling me about his trip to Las Vegas for his moms birthday. While his family was out gambling and drinking, he ventured over to a more thrilling part of the city. His 30 seconded jump down on of Las Vegas’ tallest buildings was the highlight of his trip. This sit down, story telling also included watching the GoPro footage of preparing for the jump and the actual fall itself. What felt like 3 seconds was a memory that will last a lifetime for him.

Last Draft

Dragging me to his room, Cesante sat me down in the uncomfortable chair in his room. With the bungee cords digging into my back, he began to tell me about his trip to Las Vegas. The five day round trip with his family for his mom’s birthday resulted in a ton of Snapchats and a small loss gambling. While his family was out gambling more money and drinking, Cesante decided to see a more adventurous part of the city. Jumping off one of Las Vegas’ tallest building had to be the most thrilling section of his trip. Paying $150 for what felt like three seconds of falling and some GoPro footage, the money was worth being able to tell the story for a life time.

Reflection

Editing this story, I learned that even the simplest story can be made into more thrilling. The addition of a plot, making the reader ask questions and answering them can turn a dull, dry story into something a reader can’t look away from.

Leave a Reply